Experiencing quite the number of difficult days has got me doing so much thinking that it feels as though my mind is going to explode! I wanted to write this piece to, hopefully, help others find their own peace of mind...
We sometimes come across situations that create obstacles for us to get to where we’d like to be. There are even times we may come into contact with people who tear us down because they feel it’s necessary. And, sometimes, we let these situations and people get the best of us.
I didn’t grow up with the most positive or supportive surroundings. In fact, I was constantly made to feel inadequate by others who maybe felt they were better than me because they thought my career aspirations weren’t of the successful sort OR they wouldn't hesitate to let me know whatever else they thought was “wrong” with me.
I’m NO mental health professional but the 7 tips below are ways that have helped me either by self-help books, therapy, or just from my own discovery...
1) Remove yourself from Negative surroundings (i.e. people, situations, etc.)
I've been known to act impulsively but have come to learn that there are usually consequences if I don't weigh out my options. Generally, you'd want to think about whether what you're going to do will cause any major trouble for you. Basically, don't do anything stupid or something you'd regret. If you're feeling pressure, distract yourself with some other activity or excuse yourself from the situation.
Nowadays, I'll try and make a conscious effort and see how something or someone can affect me. Will I benefit from said situation/person? Whether it’s a toxic work environment, relationship, etc., it’s best to do something about it by walking away and never looking back. Under these circumstances, if you choose to go in deeper, you'll only get yourself into a position that may be difficult to get out of.
2) Do something that makes you feel ALIVE
3) Surround yourself with People you Admire
I am one of the shyest (maybe quietest) people you will ever meet - so I’m not the most social person - but put me in a room with people who have the same interests as me or even do/say things that inspire me will get me motivated to better myself by having more confidence and courage to get what I want out of life. Too many times it's a competition between people and not enough of us empower one another.
4) Stop Trying to be Someone you’re NOT
Often times, I’d agree with others even though I really didn't care too much on the subject; I'd stay at a job I didn't really enjoy because I didn't want to let my colleagues down; and I'd often listen to unsolicited advice so that I'd look like I was making the "right choice." It doesn't make any sense why a person would subject themselves to that but it happens.
I've learned that, no matter what I do, someone will always talk smack (to my face or behind my back) and I'd only just stress myself out if I kept up a facade. There's always a tactful way to disagree with someone or something. Sure you'll get people who you might make angry but it's not your problem...it's theirs. You can't make everyone happy so you might as well do what you need to do to get to where you want to be.
5) Think intentionally and have faith
Also, have you noticed negative people tend to attract the not-so-great things in life? "Friends" who aren't loyal, things seem to go wrong on the daily, they get sick, etc. When I was in my negative funk, my judgment was clouded and all I attracted was nothing but bad luck. I couldn't shake it...couldn't figure out what it was. When I got the help I needed and I slowly started to get better, I changed my way of thinking (willing myself to obtain a life I wanted)...hung out with people who did things I admired...and the results were ASTOUNDING. Almost immediately did I notice a difference. Whatever this phenomena is called - thinking positively and having faith - it's worth a try.
6) Refrain from using negative statements
Instead of using negative words or affirmations...turn these downers into something positive. We constantly learn from situations in order to grow. The hardships we endure will only make us stronger and, maybe, wiser. It prepares us for any storms along the way, if you will. Don't worry about how fast you're moving...if it seems like you're making slow progress, it's okay, because you're probably 2-3 steps ahead than someone else who isn't doing anything about their circumstances.
7) Accept that hard times will lead you to something greater
The point is...DON'T GIVE UP. Sure you can take a step back to assess or recharge from something. If you give up, however, and you find that you're kicking yourself and asking why you quit then you'll truly regret your choice. Now this isn't to say you should NEVER give ANYTHING up. Do what your gut tells you. If it's affecting you personally in some form or another to the point where it's detrimental, then, yeah...you might want to rethink your situation.
I hear constantly that people who post on social media are just fooling people or being "fake." Personally I think it’s great that these people want to share what brings them joy (especially when it's in line with what you're into). Trying to spread a bit of good never hurt anyone.
And, really, if you find things like that bothersome, it only takes one click to exit.